the blog of complete randomness

so i have been stuck at home all evening and have come to the conclusion that i need to clean out my draws and go shopping. like seriously... i have almost zero winter clothes... and like zero summer clothes... however... seeing as how its winter... i think the winter clothes are more important...
so i just found this site... its like super awesome... its called... www.randomlove.com.au and it is freaking sweet. i am going to do one. although... it isnt as good as post secret... that is like amazing!!! :)

omg. going to sydney for schoolies. man it will be soooo fun!!! like i cant even wait... i am going to buy sooooo much!!! and i am going to need heaps of money... meaning... i need to save heaps. :S its going to be like $220 for accomodation... then the trip down there will cost like $200... then food and drinks and things to do and omg... the prices just keep going... its not cool. like way not cool. im just happy i am working on a $15 p/hour pay rate now.

hmmmm i found this really awesome jacket... its like $60... and i think i need to bribe my mother for it... because i want it. bad!!! hahaha. its so nice... and has like fur around the hood. luckily its only fake... no its not real people... dont hate me.

ughhh there are so many things i want. new scarves... new jeans... and jackets... and clothes... and... like everything basically!! lol. how i wish money grew on trees. lol

i didnt realise how random this blog was until i read it... i dont really have anything of importance to say right now... i just felt like writing. so i decided to. lol.

i think i have come to the conclusion that school is a waste of time. my god. it honestly is so stupid. they wonder why teenagers committ... well i mean seriously... with the pressure they put on us... what do they expect... its so dumb. but still... just because i realise it is a complete waste of my life... doesnt mean i am going to go and screw this up... i have wasted almost thirteen years of my life doing this... and i dont plan to screw it up now. i just dont see why it is so damn important...

i kicked my toe the other day... and now the toe nail is coming off. : it is totally not cool. and is rather painful...

well i think that is all i have to say...
except that... i am going to punch my stupid backspace button. *grrrr* lol.

night night
love maddi.
xxx

hopefully i get past this...

sometimes in life the ones who matter most are the ones that end up letting you down... i guess it happens... but still... i mean they're the ones who are meant to be there for you when times get tough... they're not the ones who make the times tough... sure we expect that its going to happen... but it still doesnt mean that when it does happen it doesnt hurt... it does... it feels like a knife... being stabbed right into your chest. then being twisted around while it is still inside you... and pulled back out a completely new direction in order to make a new hole... just so you remember what it has done... just to leave you another hole you have to try and fill... as time goes on the hole heals... but it never completely disappears... the scars are still there... and the minute something happens again the hole is ripped right open again... only this time its bigger... deeper... more lethel then the last... they dont realise this... they really have no idea it is happening at all... but it is... and you can feel it on the inside... it is hurting... more then the first. and the second. and the third. and as it keeps happening... every time it gets worse... every time the hole gets deeper and more severe... every time it gets harder to heal... and the hole stays open that little bit more... every time it makes it easier to hurt then the last... and every time it leads you just that little bit closer to death...
heres a tip for you... telling someone they're not good enough is going to make them feel like shit.
soooo... retreat on wednesday... i am officially excited.
cant wait to get away from this thing they call life. but it shall be super fun... three days with my closest friends... and the rest of the year of course... lol.
so... i just found out the tournament of they year... the one i was looking forward to most... i cant go to... i fucking hate the hsc... it takes the best things out of life... ughhhh... it isnt even worth it... its just something the government introduced to get kids off the street. ohhh i dont know... maybe i can con the parents into letting me go...
maybe...
well...
i think that is all from me tonight...
i shall write when i return from retreat :)
have fun...
love maddison
xxx