Closer To The Edge

This is not where I want to be.
I am not the person I want to be.
When I look in the mirror I see myself as a completely different person. The biggest problem with figuring out that this is not who I want to be or where I want to be is that I have no idea how to change it. I am stuck here for at least another three and a half years. I am surrounded by people who have no goals. All they do is drink and party. They are either funded by the government or have jobs working at KFC or Macdonald's, not exactly a great career opportunity.
There are times when I look at myself and can't help but ask "am I a good person?"
I don't know if I believe I am. I don't do community service. I am not religious. I don't do volunteer work. It is so hard to be so selfless. In giving a gift it is possible and easy to be selfless, but, when faced with reality, is it possible to be selfless in every aspect of your life?
I feel like a bad person. I feel selfish. I feel like all I do is take... but I never give.
Maybe the term 'spring cleaning' can apply to more then just the cleanliness of an area. Maybe I can 'spring clean' my life.
A new me.
A better person.
That is who I want to be.

I am so lost. Lost in this small town that is impossible to get lost in.
I am so lost I am want to leave the country. Leave the country and find myself. Maybe... I won't find myself. Maybe I will... but I really don't care. I just want to get out of this place.
I need to find something to be passionate about. Something to love.
I have my career path set... but you can't make a life off a university degree. There is so much more that goes into life... and really... I am only 1 year into the 4 year course... of which I need to follow up with a 2 year course. Oh... as if that isn't enough... I have to do 2 years supervised practice. Yes... because those 6 years aren't enough. So... please excuse me if I am lacking passion for my university degree.
Psychology is something that I have wanted to do for about the last 7 years. So... I am sure that I want to do this. However... I just want to find myself.
I can't stop asking myself... 'who am I?' Because... really... I have no idea.

I have no idea how to find myself... but I need to find myself soon... before I get so lost I can't find me.